Without have been in education or training for a few years (I left college after the first year of Sixth Form so it’s a good 4 years), I have forgotten the way in which I best get into the zone of productivity of doing my work and I am struggling to find it again. The thing that hasn’t left me however is the art of procrastination, which although my room is now tidy, my drawers are sorted, and I am currently writing this blog post, my work is no nearer being started than it was when I sat down to do it 3 hours ago.
The problem is, I used to make flash cards and revision posters and yet with this course, the homework that’s set is a personal journal so there is no right or wrong answer, and I think that is what I am struggling with. Throughout school and college, we’re taught to ignore our own opinions and to focus on those of that we’re studying, so to suddenly flip that on the head, is truly difficult for me. Turning my phone and tv off and only having music to listen to didn’t work, as I’d then spend more time compiling a playlist of songs I would like to listen to rather than actually doing my work. I need distraction, but not that much distraction that I’m actually paying attention to the noise. 
It took me a while to realise that I was thinking too much about what I was going to write, staring at the outline text until it turned into squggles and swirls, instead of taking a step back, and taking it section by section. Breaking it down, so the sheer thought of 1600 words wasn’t so scary. And taking it back to primary school – mind mapping. Mind mapping was a brilliant way for me to open my mind, to separate the ideas, to make it easier for when it came to the actual essay writing.
I guess it’s similar to these blog posts, I put off writing them because I find it so terrifying to actually put myself out there and let other people read my thoughts. It still worries me, I’ve still put it off for a week and a half and I have only wrote 200 words with a whole lot of mind maps, but it is a start, and I need not beat myself up about it. I always belittle myself and don’t think I am worthy, and nothing I ever write is worth reading, but it is this self doubt that is not healthy and it only pushes me further from my goals, but I am finally at a point in my life where I am fighting against this, and as this course progresses, I hope this motivation continues to also progress.
Do you have any tips for when you’re in a writer slump?
Words paint a thousand pictures 